My newest title Playing Dangerous Games is now available for pre-order! Taking turns has never been so much fun… Bliss and Dick like to play dangerous games. They enjoy testing each other’s limits and do… More
Blog
Keri Quotes: Lost in Thought {Free Poem}
This quote is from my poem Lost in Thought which you can find on my Free Reads page of free erotic poetry and fiction.
If you enjoy the poem, be sure to also check out my book page.
Enjoy 😉
Kisses ~ Keri
Keri Quotes: Take Me {free poem}
This a part of my series of #KeriQuotes, which will include quotes from erotic stories and poetry of mine.
These quotes are from the poem “Take Me,” which is available under the Free Reads section of my site.
If you enjoy the poem, be sure to check out my book page.
Enjoy 😉
Kisses ~ Keri
Naughty … Kid Books? Yup.
By now I’m sure a lot of you (at least those with kids or friends with kids) have heard of Go the F**k to Sleep, the kid’s book that isn’t actually a kid’s book.
Well, it also seems to have enacted a darling trend: inappropriate picture books.
These books are NOT for children.
But one thing they ARE good for is a laugh.
Are you a pervert who wants a good giggle? If tickle torture isn’t your kink, then you may want to check out the book pictured above: Do You Want to Play with My Balls?
This parody could almost be read to an actual child – if you could keep a straight face through lines like, “You’re balls are so big I can’t even fit them in my mouth!”
Then there is a series by Gary Galvin including the book pictured above, Would You Like to Play With My Ass?
The rhymes are a bit cloying but I dare you to make it through the entire thing with a straight face.
You can also find similar books for pussies and cocks. Because perverts like us appreciate variety. 😉
Then there’s this adorable number, Nobody Likes a Cockblock.
How can you resist these sweet illustrations paired up with lines like:
“Daddy worked all day long.
He’s tired and lonely.
There’s a small, small, small chance
that your mother might blow me.”
Cute, ain’t it?
Whether you’re a Daddy Dom looking for something to read to your Babygirl or a soccer mom with a dirty mind who needs a break from Dr. Seuss, these inappropriate picture books might be just what you need.
Kisses ~ Keri
Keri Quotes: Last Room on the Right
This a part of my series of #KeriQuotes, which will include quotes from erotic stories and poetry of mine.
This quote comes from a short story called The Last Room on the Right, and it’s available to read for free on my website under the “Free Reads” tab.
If you enjoy the story, please consider buying my book.
You can also find these quotes on my Facebook and Twitter feeds.
Enjoy 😉
Kisses ~ Keri
May is for Masturbation . . . and Sanitation
As I’ve mentioned before, May is National Masturbation Month.
How cool is that, right? It’s like a national pastime or something . . . 😉
Anyway, this year I wanted to point out something I find unendingly amusing: May 5th is World Hand Hygiene Day.
No, seriously. Look:
It’s a real thing. You can read all about the Clean Hands Count Campaign on the CDC site.
Because hygiene is always important, of course.
And clean hands make for happy masturbating.
Hehehehehehe . . .
Remember to celebrate the month with gusto! It’s your national duty.
Kisses ~ Keri
Disney Princess Lingerie? Yes, Please!
Okay, have you seen the new Princess Lingerie by Yandy?
It’s based on the costumes of Disney princesses and it’s available for preorder right now and I am COMPLETELY IN LOVE!
Because, seriously, I may be kinky as hell, but I’m totally a Disney princess too. I’ve always felt like Disney World should host a Kink Day. And sell sex toys.
I mean, who wouldn’t love a Mickey Mouse-shaped paddle? Or a Lumiere vibrator??
But until that happens (fingers crossed!), I would be totally happy to order a few of these to play with in the meantime.
Ariel, Belle, and Jasmine are my faves. What about you? Here are a few more to choose from, like Elsa and the Evil Queen.
Oh, imagine the play possibilities!
Which do you love?? Let me know on Facebook. See all the pretties at Yandy.com.
Kisses ~ Keri
A Little Kinky … A Little Vanilla
It does take all kinds, Snoopy!
Sometimes having a vanilla on the bottom can be a lot of fun. And then, sometimes on the top. 😉
What say you?
Kisses ~ Keri
Good Clean Love: A Lube Review
I don’t normally do straight up product reviews, but I wanted to share this with you.
Good Clean Love: Guilty Pleasure Natural Organic Personal Lubricant in Cinnamon Vanilla is something I recently discovered and – you guys – I can not get over how much I love this stuff.
And I’ll admit, most of its lov-a-bility comes from the amazing scent. Baking is one of my things after all, so anything that reminds me of cookies (yes, even lube) just can’t be bad.
This stuff, people, smells like cinnamon and vanilla extract. Combine that with awesome sex and, in my opinion, you’ve got a hit on your hands. (And in a few other fun places, too.)
And yes – I know, I KNOW … but trust me on this: vanilla can be a good thing sometimes. I don’t care how kinky you are, you’ll never convince me that EATING vanilla is a bad thing!
I like that it’s aloe-based, so it’s thick and smooth, but also great for sensitive skin. It’s also 100% vegan and 95% organic, so you can feel good about using it. And if the aloe part of it dries a little too quickly for you, you can “reactivate” it with a few drops of water or spit according to the manufacturer, but this isn’t a problem I’ve had. Though reapplying does add some more of that delicious scent to the evening…
It’s fairly easy to find online at Amazon and other retailers, like Target. Just pay attention to what size you’re ordering. As it’s organic, it costs a little more. But even if you only buy it for special occasions, I completely recommend having some around. You never know when you’ll be in the mood for some … dessert. 😉
Enjoy!
Kisses ~ Keri
Stocking Up on Sexy Calendars: Rowers + Firefighters Editions
Sooo… have you finished your Christmas shopping?
And I don’t just mean for any of the friends or family or coworkers or mistresses on your list… but for yourself too. This is totally the perfect time of year to use as an excuse to buy nice stuff for yourself.
You know what makes the nice stuff extra nice? Supporting a good cause.
So there’s always this option: sexy charity calendars.
Plus, it’s the gift that keeps on giving, seeing as how you get a new picture each month. How can you go wrong?
The Warwick Rowers have been making calendars since 2009, and it’s not just for a good cause. They support Sports Allies … and they’re awful nice to look at, too.
But they’re not the only ones using their *assets* to support a good cause.
For example, there’s also Toby’s Fun Charleston Animal Society 2017 Firefighters Calendar.
Gorgeous guys and precious puppies? Oh, I am SOLD.
So what’s the verdict? Will either of these make your shopping list this year?
Or have they already?
If you’re looking for a literary gift, don’t forget to check out my book Unwrapping a Mistress for Christmas!
Or, if you need a last minute gift, here are a few ideas. 😉
Kisses ~ Keri
Mistress Bunny
So I came across this amazing Dark Bunny T-Shirt from TeeTurtle the other day and the first thing I thought was, “Is she holding a riding crop?”
When I looked closer I saw that wasn’t actually the case, but I can’t seem to un-see the crop.
Super cute shirt, though, either way.
I also do a lot of strange (well, strange is relative) research on my computer, which leads to “strange” things popping up in targeted ads. Mostly because I’m too lazy to clear my browser history anymore.
But, and I KID YOU NOT, this was next to my Facebook newsfeed today:
It’s like my computer had a telepathic Freudian slip.
I’ve never felt so in tune with technology.
Oh, and if you’re curious, it was this Jump Bat that Amazon felt would be a good fit for me. Anyone wanna volunteer to bend over so I can see if they’re right? 😉
Kisses ~ Keri
Keri Fields 