Keri Quotes: Take Me {free poem}

erotic poetry

This a part of my series of #KeriQuotes, which will include quotes from erotic stories and poetry of mine.

These quotes are from the poem “Take Me,” which is available under the Free Reads section of my site.

Poem TAKE ME Quote by Keri Fields 2

If you enjoy the poem, be sure to check out my book page.

Enjoy  😉

Kisses ~ Keri

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Naughty … Kid Books? Yup.

Do You Want to Play With My Balls

By now I’m sure a lot of you (at least those with kids or friends with kids) have heard of Go the F**k to Sleep, the kid’s book that isn’t actually a kid’s book.

Well, it also seems to have enacted a darling trend:  inappropriate picture books.

These books are NOT for children.

But one thing they ARE good for is a laugh.

Are you a pervert who wants a good giggle?  If tickle torture isn’t your kink, then you may want to check out the book pictured above: Do You Want to Play with My Balls?

This parody could almost be read to an actual child – if you could keep a straight face through lines like, “You’re balls are so big I can’t even fit them in my mouth!”

Would You Like to Play with My Ass

Then there is a series by Gary Galvin including the book pictured above, Would You Like to Play With My Ass?

The rhymes are a bit cloying but I dare you to make it through the entire thing with a straight face.

You can also find similar books for pussies and cocks.  Because perverts like us appreciate variety. 😉

Nobody Likes a Cockblock

Then there’s this adorable number, Nobody Likes a Cockblock.

How can you resist these sweet illustrations paired up with lines like:

“Daddy worked all day long.
He’s tired and lonely.
There’s a small, small, small chance
that your mother might blow me.”

Cute, ain’t it?

Whether you’re a Daddy Dom looking for something to read to your Babygirl or a soccer mom with a dirty mind who needs a break from Dr. Seuss, these inappropriate picture books might be just what you need.

Kisses ~ Keri

May is for Masturbation . . . and Sanitation

may mast month

As I’ve mentioned before, May is National Masturbation Month.

How cool is that, right?  It’s like a national pastime or something . . .  😉

nmm

Anyway, this year I wanted to point out something I find unendingly amusing:  May 5th is World Hand Hygiene Day. 

No, seriously.  Look:

Animated-Logo-Clean-Hands-Count

It’s a real thing.  You can read all about the Clean Hands Count Campaign on the CDC site.

Because hygiene is always important, of course.

And clean hands make for happy masturbating.

Hehehehehehe . . .

giggles.jpg

Remember to celebrate the month with gusto! It’s your national duty.

Kisses ~ Keri

Disney Princess Lingerie? Yes, Please!

disney princess lingerie

Okay, have you seen the new Princess Lingerie by Yandy?

It’s based on the costumes of Disney princesses and it’s available for preorder right now and I am COMPLETELY IN LOVE!

disney princess lingerie

Because, seriously, I may be kinky as hell, but I’m totally a Disney princess too.  I’ve always felt like Disney World should host a Kink Day.  And sell sex toys.

I mean, who wouldn’t love a Mickey Mouse-shaped paddle?  Or a Lumiere vibrator??

jasmine

But until that happens (fingers crossed!), I would be totally happy to order a few of these to play with in the meantime.

Ariel, Belle, and Jasmine are my faves.  What about you?  Here are a few more to choose from, like Elsa and the Evil Queen.

Oh, imagine the play possibilities!

disney princess lingerieelsasnow whiteevil queen

Which do you love??  Let me know on Facebook.  See all the pretties at Yandy.com.

Kisses ~ Keri

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Good Clean Love: A Lube Review

Good Clean Love Cinnamon Vanilla Lubricant

I don’t normally do straight up product reviews, but I wanted to share this with you.

Good Clean Love:  Guilty Pleasure Natural Organic Personal Lubricant in Cinnamon Vanilla is something I recently discovered and – you guys – I can not get over how much I love this stuff.

And I’ll admit, most of its lov-a-bility comes from the amazing scent.  Baking is one of my things after all, so anything that reminds me of cookies (yes, even lube) just can’t be bad.

This stuff, people, smells like cinnamon and vanilla extract.  Combine that with awesome sex and, in my opinion, you’ve got a hit on your hands.  (And in a few other fun places, too.)

And yes – I know, I KNOW … but trust me on this:  vanilla can be a good thing sometimes.  I don’t care how kinky you are, you’ll never convince me that EATING vanilla is a bad thing!

I like that it’s aloe-based, so it’s thick and smooth, but also great for sensitive skin.  It’s also 100% vegan and 95% organic, so you can feel good about using it.  And if the aloe part of it dries a little too quickly for you, you can “reactivate” it with a few drops of water or spit according to the manufacturer, but this isn’t a problem I’ve had.  Though reapplying does add some more of that delicious scent to the evening…

It’s fairly easy to find online at Amazon and other retailers, like Target.  Just pay attention to what size you’re ordering.  As it’s organic, it costs a little more.  But even if you only buy it for special occasions, I completely recommend having some around.  You never know when you’ll be in the mood for some … dessert.  😉

Enjoy!

Kisses ~ Keri

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Mistress Bunny

bunny-shirt

So I came across this amazing Dark Bunny T-Shirt from TeeTurtle the other day and the first thing I thought was, “Is she holding a riding crop?”

When I looked closer I saw that wasn’t actually the case, but I can’t seem to un-see the crop.

Super cute shirt, though, either way.

I also do a lot of strange (well, strange is relative) research on my computer, which leads to “strange” things popping up in targeted ads.  Mostly because I’m too lazy to clear my browser history anymore.

But, and I KID YOU NOT, this was next to my Facebook newsfeed today:

bunny-shirt-2

It’s like my computer had a telepathic Freudian slip.

I’ve never felt so in tune with technology.

Oh, and if you’re curious, it was this Jump Bat that Amazon felt would be a good fit for me.  Anyone wanna volunteer to bend over so I can see if they’re right?  😉

Kisses ~ Keri