Keri Quotes: Take Me {free poem}

erotic poetry

This a part of my series of #KeriQuotes, which will include quotes from erotic stories and poetry of mine.

These quotes are from the poem “Take Me,” which is available under the Free Reads section of my site.

Poem TAKE ME Quote by Keri Fields 2

If you enjoy the poem, be sure to check out my book page.

Enjoy  😉

Kisses ~ Keri

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Naughty … Kid Books? Yup.

Do You Want to Play With My Balls

By now I’m sure a lot of you (at least those with kids or friends with kids) have heard of Go the F**k to Sleep, the kid’s book that isn’t actually a kid’s book.

Well, it also seems to have enacted a darling trend:  inappropriate picture books.

These books are NOT for children.

But one thing they ARE good for is a laugh.

Are you a pervert who wants a good giggle?  If tickle torture isn’t your kink, then you may want to check out the book pictured above: Do You Want to Play with My Balls?

This parody could almost be read to an actual child – if you could keep a straight face through lines like, “You’re balls are so big I can’t even fit them in my mouth!”

Would You Like to Play with My Ass

Then there is a series by Gary Galvin including the book pictured above, Would You Like to Play With My Ass?

The rhymes are a bit cloying but I dare you to make it through the entire thing with a straight face.

You can also find similar books for pussies and cocks.  Because perverts like us appreciate variety. 😉

Nobody Likes a Cockblock

Then there’s this adorable number, Nobody Likes a Cockblock.

How can you resist these sweet illustrations paired up with lines like:

“Daddy worked all day long.
He’s tired and lonely.
There’s a small, small, small chance
that your mother might blow me.”

Cute, ain’t it?

Whether you’re a Daddy Dom looking for something to read to your Babygirl or a soccer mom with a dirty mind who needs a break from Dr. Seuss, these inappropriate picture books might be just what you need.

Kisses ~ Keri

Keri Quotes: Last Room on the Right

erotica quotes from keri fields

This a part of my series of #KeriQuotes, which will include quotes from erotic stories and poetry of mine.

This quote comes from a short story called The Last Room on the Right, and it’s available to read for free on my website under the “Free Reads” tab.

If you enjoy the story, please consider buying my book.

You can also find these quotes on my Facebook and Twitter feeds.

Enjoy 😉

Kisses ~ Keri

May is for Masturbation . . . and Sanitation

may mast month

As I’ve mentioned before, May is National Masturbation Month.

How cool is that, right?  It’s like a national pastime or something . . .  😉

nmm

Anyway, this year I wanted to point out something I find unendingly amusing:  May 5th is World Hand Hygiene Day. 

No, seriously.  Look:

Animated-Logo-Clean-Hands-Count

It’s a real thing.  You can read all about the Clean Hands Count Campaign on the CDC site.

Because hygiene is always important, of course.

And clean hands make for happy masturbating.

Hehehehehehe . . .

giggles.jpg

Remember to celebrate the month with gusto! It’s your national duty.

Kisses ~ Keri

Disney Princess Lingerie? Yes, Please!

disney princess lingerie

Okay, have you seen the new Princess Lingerie by Yandy?

It’s based on the costumes of Disney princesses and it’s available for preorder right now and I am COMPLETELY IN LOVE!

disney princess lingerie

Because, seriously, I may be kinky as hell, but I’m totally a Disney princess too.  I’ve always felt like Disney World should host a Kink Day.  And sell sex toys.

I mean, who wouldn’t love a Mickey Mouse-shaped paddle?  Or a Lumiere vibrator??

jasmine

But until that happens (fingers crossed!), I would be totally happy to order a few of these to play with in the meantime.

Ariel, Belle, and Jasmine are my faves.  What about you?  Here are a few more to choose from, like Elsa and the Evil Queen.

Oh, imagine the play possibilities!

disney princess lingerieelsasnow whiteevil queen

Which do you love??  Let me know on Facebook.  See all the pretties at Yandy.com.

Kisses ~ Keri

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Stocking Up on Sexy Calendars: Rowers + Firefighters Editions

Sexy Christmas Calendar with The Warwick Rowers
© Warwick Rowers

Sooo… have you finished your Christmas shopping?

And I don’t just mean for any of the friends or family or coworkers or mistresses on your list… but for yourself too.  This is totally the perfect time of year to use as an excuse to buy nice stuff for yourself.

You know what makes the nice stuff extra nice?  Supporting a good cause.

So there’s always this option:  sexy charity calendars.

Plus, it’s the gift that keeps on giving, seeing as how you get a new picture each month.  How can you go wrong?

The Warwick Rowers have been making calendars since 2009, and it’s not just for a good cause.  They support Sports Allies … and they’re awful nice to look at, too.

But they’re not the only ones using their *assets* to support a good cause.

For example, there’s also Toby’s Fun Charleston Animal Society 2017 Firefighters Calendar.

Gorgeous guys and precious puppies?  Oh, I am SOLD.

So what’s the verdict?  Will either of these make your shopping list this year?

Or have they already?

If you’re looking for a literary gift, don’t forget to check out my book Unwrapping a Mistress for Christmas!

Or, if you need a last minute gift, here are a few ideas.  😉

Kisses ~ Keri

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